Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Detroit vs. Buffalo, a Different Look.

While Drew did a fancy look at tonight's game using what I like to call "statistics," I'm going to use a slightly different approach to compare the two teams.

Logo:

Buffalo - Easily winner of the worst logo ever, in any sport. The buffalslug.



Detroit - Classy, historic, could seduce even your mom with its power and grace.



Winner - Detroit. No shit.

Stanley Cups Won:

Buffalo - eh...well..better luck next category.

Detroit -

Winner - Ha. I only wanted to do this category to laugh at other teams (until we play Montreal that is.)

Hotter Girl on the Google Image Search of Hot Red Wings/Buffalo Sabres Girl:

Buffalo - It took me till page 10 to find a girl wearing anything Sabres attire, which must tell you something. Secondly, while not bad, I'd give em a six at best.



Detroit - First page, first image. Game set match, hot.



Winner - Unless you are into dudeondude.com, I think you know.

Best Coach Mustache:

Buffalo - Lindy Ruff, not bad, looks a bit like a cross between an aging Ron Burgundy, a child modester, and a blond Burt Reynolds (or Turd Ferguson.) Also owns the worst comb-over in the league.



Detroit - My god, its glorious!



Winner - Dave Lewis for actually being Hitler.



Prediction: Wings win 4-1, Datsyuk scores a sweet goal that causes Miller to pull his groin, and Tim Connolly will make 14 dekes in his own zone while the Wings are changing just to show off what he's got, only to be nudged by Val, causing his right leg to shatter all over the ice and forcing the Sabers to forfeit the game out of pure embarrassment for paying the guy like 4 million to get hurt in game 5 of every season.

However, I will admit, the Buffalo puck bunnies do it right.



(Note: This blog was slightly fueled by articles a few years ago that claimed Buffalo was the new hockeytown. Go eat a big veiny one is all I have to say to that. And I actually do like Tim Connolly, because he is a beast in NHL 09 and it is very amusing to watch him dangle with nobody actually around him. He's got moves.)

Go Wings.

12 comments:

  1. Good work, my friend.

    Thanks for reminding me of why I brought you on board. So, does that mean that Antero Nittymaki has Dave Lewis on his helmet?

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  2. What a great laugh at work. Thanks.

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  3. So uh...good puck bunnies don't have a question mark at the end of their signs...so there's another Buffalo FAIL. Wonder what T.O. would say?

    Oh...and...Hasek had to leave Buffalo for Detroit for a Cup (or two). Hayo...

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  4. I noticed the question mark, but didn't think of anything to go with it.

    I'm Ron Burgandy?

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  5. Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?

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  6. Yeh unfortunately it's in our face....we got served 6-2....i think your the reason we lost LOL, be humble and careful next time!!!!

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  7. "Yeh unfortunately it's in our face....we got served 6-2....i think your the reason we lost LOL, be humble and careful next time!!!!"

    Not.Gonna.Happen.

    And how dare you tell a Wings fan to be humble and careful with words...sacrilege.

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  8. Not gonna happen? then enjoy the " in your face " comments each time the wings suffer a loss after your bold and disrespectful statements lol...that's gotta hurt though....after all that effort you did above, we got nailed 6-2...from Buffalo, a team who ain't worth even watching.

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  9. I read that last comment with a great sense of pride...why? Because when I launched this gig back in July I told myself that I wouldn't be a legitimate Red Wings blog until I started getting trolled with punk ass stuff like Mr. Anonymous posted above. So I thank you for qualifying NOHS and feeding my (and Chris's) ego to write even BOLDER AND MORE DISRESPECTFUL stuff in the future. Please by all means, keep coming back...and no, I don't really care what your name is anyway. As the great poet T.I. once said, "All your hatin' is fuel to my fire."

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  10. Anonymous - I'm glad you think that me giving the Best Coach Mustache award to Hitler caused the Wings to lose. Actually, now that I put it that way, that might just have pissed off the gods enough to create the mess that was last night.

    Oops.

    Anyways, can you disagree with one point I made? (Other than the score prediction, which I ruined with the Hitler hex.)

    Nope. Didn't think so, unless you're into dudeondude.com.

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  11. Maybe the wings just suck.....Sorry what was the score of this game? and yeah the sabres kill the dead wings in the standings

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