Saturday, October 24, 2009

Pointless Preview 10/24 vs Colorado Avalanche

I actually wrote this on Friday, but since I'm stuck in Internet hell, I scheduled the post to be released today, as we look for revenge against the one that got away one week ago.

Since my co-author failed to write one of these the last time we played the Avs, I thought that I would give it a try since no one seemed to mind my “Pointless Preview” against the Coyotes…we’re not talking about that game again…ever.

Category #1: Best Name that sounds like a Pirate

Detroit has Darren Helm
Who better to pilot a ship than a man named Helm?

Colorado has Davey Jones

Also seen crappy 60's musical group the Monkees and Disney's Pirates of the Carribean 2 & 3

Winner: Detroit ...because the Monkees didn't play their own instruments and the pirate Davy Jones has an octopus face…clearly Gore Verbinski is a Wings fan. (Much love to Bill Nighy.)

Category #2: Franchise Built because Eric Lindros was an arrogant ass

Winner: Colorado
When Lindros was drafted in 1991, he downright refused to play with Joe Sakic and the Quebec Nordiques, forcing the ‘Diques to make a ridiculous trade to Philadelphia. The soon-to-become Avalanche received in the trade Peter Forsberg, as well as Ron Hextall, Chris Simon, Mike Ricci, Kerry Huffman, Steve Duchesne, a 1st round selection (Jocelyn Thibault who be included in the deal for Patrick Roy) in 1993, a 1st round selection (later traded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, later traded to the Washington) in 1994, and $15,000,000 cash....Unbelievable.

Category #3: Arena Name

Detroit has Joe Louis Arena
JLA is named after the Brown Bomber. 65 wins, 3 losses and the Heavyweight Champion of the World from 1937 to 1949. Joe Louis is widely regarded as the first black man to achieve the status of a nationwide hero within the United States.

Colorado has the Pepsi Center
Coca-Cola’s little step-sister (the not hot one)

Winner: Detroit (would have considered Colorado if it was the Mt. Dew center…makes more sense anyway.)

Category #4: Quality of Captain

Detroit has Nicklas Lidstrom
A world class person and talent. Lidas is highly respected amongst players, teammates and opponents alike. He has over 1,000 career points, 6 Norris trophies (8 nominations), the first European to captain a team to the Stanley Cup and the first European to win the Conn Smythe trophy. Nicknamed “The Perfect Human”.

Colorado has Adam Foote
Left “The Perfect Turd” in Patrick Roy’s hotel bathroom back in ‘98. He has almost 30% of Lidstrom’s career points (291). He remains one of the last remnants of Colorado’s golden years. Most common response to the question, “why the hell would you make Adam Foote your captain?” Paul Stastny is too young.

Winner Detroit

Prediction: 4-2 Red Wings with an empty netter because sooner or later this team is going to learn how to put their skate to their opponents throat and press down. Jimmy is probably going to start, lead us to victory, kid…and close that 5-hole.


  1. I actually think Howard has been playing quite well. More consistent than he usually is.
    Craig Anderson is going to give us two cheap ones tonight !!